I am sorry I have not updated this site in a few weeks-especially when it is supposed to be a blog and for the most part and if nothing else-that should mean regular updates.
And it’s not that I have been skiving. No not at all-in fact the contrary is true-I have been too wrapped up in writing daily missives, finishing off the 3rd book and editing the 2nd one. In between time I have posted a few chapters from the 2nd book on wattpad and bundled a few missives off for proof reading.
For some little known but totally appreciated reason a facebook writer friend with nothing better to do Debbie McEwan has offered to proof read the missives with the hoped for outcome being an anthology. I have a feeling she doesn’t realise what she has let herself in for but with Debbie’s military style eye for detail my work can only benefit. Spit and polish was always something I have tried to avoid. Hence my hippy-dom and absence from a barber shop chair for over ten years. Joking apart Debbie is a very busy woman and I am more than grateful for her interest. The fact she even cares about my ramblings is still hard to get my head round.
It is odd I have felt a need to excuse my absence when apart from the above and working full-time I have also just finished a chapter on Ethical Dilemmas when working psychotherapeutically with people who have intellectual disabilities. The chapter will be in a new book edited by a couple of college professor friends and will be used by Psychologists, psychotherapists and Counsellors.
Now as I pause and reflect on what I have just written you could argue I have actually been busy. However the truth is always much more complicated than that and the past few weeks have seen a couple of shuddering reminders of tragedy and left me with little energy to do anything other than I did.
It is now four years since my son died and for a few weeks the pain of his loss was as raw as an open wound right up until this week and the anniversary’s passing. As a psychologist who works with bereavement I would never tell anybody ‘...the time will come when you will feel okay...’
The truth is you will never feel the way you once did. Things that once interested you may interest you again-they may not. You may have moments of happiness and you may love the people in your life but the pain never really leaves. You learn to live with it. It can get smaller sometimes and occupy less space. It can go to sleep for a while and just when you think you are doing okay something will come along and hit you out of left field and you are right back.
This last weekend found me so winded. I found it hard to breathe. It was like the world fell out from under my feet. I had no energy for anything. And that is the truth. But the anniversary got over and I feel good-ish today. I am blessed to be loved-it is the saving grace. Without it I might have gone under but holding on to those who love me has been my salvation.
Holding on to love will be the salvation of all those who lose.
Hold on to the love you have and nurture it. Treat it like gold dust. This real love of the living will see you through the worst times. The bad times will still visit but the investment of love in the living is the rock that holds you in this world.
Anything else is a bonus.
Bye for now. Peter.